7. don't compare yourself to others. everyone is great in their own ways. if you're always comparing yourself to others, you will never be happy. there will always be someone who has more, who has accomplished more, or who looks better. also, when you compare yourself to someone else, you probably focus on their unique gifts. you probably don't have all the same gifts, but you probably have some of your own that you are forgetting about. embrace your own strengths. even with common measures, the only valid comparison can really be with yourself: are you getting better over time? charles bukowski said, "my contest is only with myself."
8. don't hold grudges. if a situation is already bad, it doesn’t get any better when we keep being unkind to each other. holding a grudge never really helps; it just hurts you and people around you. especially when it's over silly things. i've been in a few situations myself where at the moment i felt like i could never forgive a person. usually i've had to give myself about a year to have the courage to forgive the other person, and i think that is okay, although ideally it would be quicker. sometimes it takes a while to realize that what happened between you and another person was silly and not worth ruining a friendship over. forgiving someone feels great both for you and for the other person. when i forgive someone, i feel like a "big weight has been lifted" off my mind/heart/everything!
stay tuned for part 5, the final part of the series, next monday!